Why I said ‘Yes’ to 4 and ‘No’ to 70+ Invites on LinkedIn

Beginning in March 2020 I started receiving more connection requests on LinkedIn from strangers. I thought, hmm, that’s interesting. Some of them were obviously generic bulk requests. Some were good. Some were just plain annoying. I started collecting them to see if there was a pattern.

Which ones did I ignore? Which ones did I accept?

Here’s my unscientific study of those invitations. I categorized them into these buckets.

Invitations I Said “No” To


Hi Judy, I hope to connect and to see if we can help one another grow our business or career.

Hello Judy, I see you run your own coaching business. Impressive! I hope we can network a bit.

Hi Judy, I work exclusively with coaches like yourself, it would be great to connect.

Hey Judy, just came across Avid At Work & your profile on LinkedIn. Noticed we’re both in the Coaching Industry and thought it’d be mutually beneficial for us to connect. Talk soon,

Hello Judy, You never know where a connection will lead…I’m willing to find out. How about you? Have an amazing day!

Always great to connect with driven career service pros who are out there hustling! Would enjoy adding you and learning more about your process.

Hi Judy, Great to see you here. I look forward to connecting with you on Linkedin.

Hi Judy, from one solopreneur to another – would be great to connect 🙂

Hi Judy, we share similar acquaintances here and I love seeing admirable female coaches, so I went ahead and sent you a connection request. Looking forward to joining your professional network and hearing more about you. All my best,

Hello Judy, let’s connect.

Fake Friendliness

Hey Judy, I came across your name in my feed the other day and your profile got my attention. If it’s not too much to ask, I would love to connect here and follow your work – you seem awesome 🤩 Have a great day!

Hello Judy, I came across your profile while researching the business consulting industry in San Francisco, California, I really admire your background and experience. I thought it might make sense for us to connect since growing ones network is ideal. Looking forward to connecting, Cheers!

Hey Judy! It’s great to connect with you here and I always appreciate those who make it their mission to provide value to others. Loved what I saw in your profile. I would love to connect with you to get to know you better. Are you open to that?

Dear Judy – Came across your profile here on LinkedIn, was intrigued and would love to connect. I see you’re also a coach… Excited to learn more about what you’re up to! P.S. How’s the weather in San Francisco? It’s always SUNNY and chilly at night here in Colorado

Hi Judy – Looks like you’ve been living your calling as a Career Coach! I thought it made sense for us to connect because it looks like you love what you do.

Loved your latest video, great value and very helpful, I’d LOVE to see more of your video content & I’d appreciate if you accept my connection request

You know, LinkedIn is a great tool for helping random strangers (like you and me) create awkward, but potentially beneficial, relationships with each other. I came across your profile and believe a connection would be valuable to us both. Are you willing to take a chance and connect with me?

Hey Judy! I wanted to introduce myself in a way that showed I was interesting, witty, and clever. Alas, I wrote this message instead. I’d love to connect 🙂

Judy – love to connect with you, if you’re open to it? BTW, I won’t be adding you to my “super awesome email list that promises a free pony and all the bacon you can eat.” I hate spam too. Although, free bacon would be awesome! 🙂

Judy, Does social distancing mean we can’t be social? Browse through my network. If there’s anybody you can benefit from knowing, I’m happy to make an intro for you. Your new friend,

Hello Judy OMG where is 2021 going? … I hope you are having a fantastic start to the year. You’re [sic] profile looks like a great fit for us to connect and expand our networks. Would you like to connect? Kind regards

Trying to Sell Too Soon

Hi Judy, We haven’t met…This will come out of nowhere, but we just finished a PPC project for a well known consultant. Thought you might want to connect//start a conversation, etc…who knows..

Hi Judy, Let’s connect. I look forward to seeing how we can add value to each other. btw – I’m hosting an exclusive roundtable on 8/21/20 at 11 am CST for Top Coaches & Consultants centered around marketing and growth during and post Pandemic. Would love to have you join us. Interested?

Hey Judy! I hope you are staying well and healthy. We are a scrappy group of VA’s who LOVE doing repetitive tasks for savvy US business owners. Our full time packages cost an average of just under $5 an hour, and will work a full day for you for free to prove that we are a fit. Thanks,

Good morning, Judy, I hope you are well. We’ve just completed the new websites for [program name] training, [URL]. Looking for industry connections. Rgds Steve.

Hi Judy, Let’s connect. I look forward to seeing how we can add value to each other. btw – I’m hosting an exclusive roundtable on Sept 3rd for Top Coaches, Consultants & B-B Service Providers centered around marketing and growth during and post-pandemic. Interested?

Hey, Judy, I just came across your profile and saw you provide some really valuable coaching! We’re looking for 5 more coaches to give some free help with anything they need with Instagram marketing, and you seem like a good fit! Is that something you may be interested in?

Used Automation Thingy

Hello Judy T. I like your Profile, lets connect.

Hey Judy T., stumbled across your profile here on LinkedIn. Would love to connect 🙂

Hey Judy T.! I noticed you’ve got a distinct vibe, and I love meeting unique people, like yourself. Let’s connect?

Hey Judy T, I’m looking to grow my Linkedin network in the states, I’d love to connect – if you’re open to it

Hello Judy T. I am a profit optimization expert helping business owners scale their companies without sacrificing your family life. Your profile looks amazing. I would love to connect with you and discover the best way to enhance both of our networks. Let’s connect

Hi Judy T.! Hope you’re doing well and staying healthy. I looked over your profile and would love to connect with you.

Hi Judy T., your LinkedIn profile caught my attention! I’m always on the lookout to connect & network with fellow Coaches & Speakers. When you get a chance, would you check out my profile and see if it makes sense to you to connect? Cordially,

Judy T., We were recommended to invite you to our community of high-ticket selling coaches in the US needing to attract qualified leads & close more deals each month. Our community’s purpose is to help you grow a qualified and profitable virtual coaching environment! Connect to join/info.

Hi Judy T.! I was looking for meaningful connections that can be mutually beneficial and came across your profile. I’d love to network with you!

Hey Judy T., I’m [name removed] former college football player. I see that you’re a consultant in California, let’s connect!

Hi Judy T., just wanted to say thank you. Inspiration, motivation and storytelling is so important for the world today. Keep up the good work!

Hi Judy T., I am NOT affiliated with a digital marketing agency! But I do help coaches and consultants create and launch online courses, memberships, and coaching programs. Would love to have you in my network so we can learn more about each other’s business. Thanks!

Judy, do you have a video of you speaking?

Hi Judy, It looks like you do some impressive work so I was compelled to reach out and connect here on Linkedin – if you are open to that please accept. Warmly,

Hi Judy T.! I see that we both assist CEOs and companies looking to improve their performance and I’m looking to create a forum to share best practices and tools. Would you be open to connecting on LinkedIn?

Hi Judy T….it’s nice to virtually meet you. I saw that we have a few mutual connections here on LinkedIn and that we are both UC Berkeley alumni, so I thought it would nice to connect in this time of isolation. I hope all is well and I look forward to networking with you.

Hey Judy T., I’m looking to connect with business coaches in the Bay Area. Are you open to connecting?

Hi Judy T., I am a fellow CAL alum and graduated with degrees in Economics of Natural Resources and Sociology. Living on the peninsula, it’s nice being close to our alma mater. It’s great having such a strong alumni network in the Bay Area. Would value your connection.

Hope you’re doing great. Looking forward to Linking Up with you Judy T.. Interested to hear more about your company. Talk soon! 🙂

Hi Judy T., I wanted to drop a note to connect with a fellow group member. I co-created a bilingual card game to spark meaningful conversations between you & your family. I’d love your feedback. Sending you & your loved ones my warmest wishes!

Hey Judy T., I know we don’t know each other, but I came across your profile and thought we’d be a great fit here on LinkedIn. I’d love to connect if you’re open to it!

Hey Judy T.! It looks like you do impressive work. Thanks for accepting my request. How many years you are in this Business. Have a blessed day. Speak Soon.

Me, Myself, and I

I am looking to connect with other professionals on LinkedIn. Let’s connect!

Hello! I am looking to connect with other professionals on LinkedIn. Please accept my connection request. Thank you,

Judy, was looking to connect with professionals in your space and your profile came up…open to connect here?

Hey Judy ! I would love to connect with you on LinkedIn! Thanks!

Hi Judy, Hope you and your family are safe! I am looking to connect with other professionals on LinkedIn. Let’s connect! Best ever,

Hey Judy, I’ve been trying to connect with fellow entrepreneurs and consultants these days. I’d like to get to know more about you and see if we can work together. If you’re open, please accept. 🙂 Warmly,

Hi Judy, I just Looked, you are doing great things in the coaching space. I am looking to grow my network with like-minded people. If you are open to it let us connect!

Hello Judy, You never know where a connection will lead…I’m willing to find out. How about you? Have a great day!

Hi Judy, How are you? I see that you are a Coach and I would love to add you to my network of professionals. If you are open to it let’s connect, Judy!

Hi Judy! Would love to connect here on Linkedin! I offer various techie services and social media management for coaches. Warmly,

Just looking to expand my network here on LinkedIn.

Hi Judy, I saw your profile and wanted to expand my network with professionals. Why? As the verse in Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT) goes, “Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” Let’s explore possibilities and help each other succeed. God bless,

Hi Judy, I am a consultant and entrepreneur like you. I believe independent consulting / freelancing is the future of work. I am building a collective / network of top independent consultants. I’d love to connect!

Hey Judy, I see that you are also a coach and would love to add you to my network of professionals. If you’re open to that let’s connect,

Hi Judy, I’m all about coaching, mentoring and expanding our businesses. I hope you are open to connecting. Thanks,

Hi Judy, I’m the Business Coach that Business Coaches go to generate leads and get high-end coaching clients. I like the look of your profile and would love to connect.

Wrong Assumptions About My Needs

Being that you are a Coach, I really wanted to connect. As such I’ve decided not to send you the generic LinkedIn invite! Fingers crossed. PS – If you are posting quality content you can count on Likes and Shares from me to send it out to my following because I’m actively sharing.

Hey Judy, I see you are a speaker and I’d love to have you in my network. Let me know if you’d like me to introduce you to someone within my LI network. 🙂

Hi Judy, Let’s connect so we can help each other expand our networks. We also have a couple of connections in common. Have a good evening!

Judy, let’s connect. I’ve been helping coaches scale for over 20 years, and I promise to give some ideas you’re free to steal. If you play your cards right I might tell you the lamest joke I know!

Aloha Judy, I’m [name withheld] and noted you are into Personal Development. Love to connect. I’m also giving back by inviting you to my group.

Is this a trick?

Hey Judy, can you handle taking on any more coaching clients right now?

Hi Judy! Have a quick question / suggestion about Avid At Work 🙂 Do you mind if I send it here? Hope you are having a good one (and staying safe!)

Hi Judy, I get a great vibe from your profile and love all you are doing. Hope we can connect further as I’d love to ask you a quick question!

Hi Judy, I found you while searching for business consultants on LinkedIn. It says that you are providing those services. Has LinkedIn search got it right? Best,

Invitations I Said “Yes” To

So if those were a turnoff, which ones did I accept? Here’s a sampling:

Real, Personal, Relevant

Hi Judy. Saw that you were a part of the Women in Consulting Group and doing a live webinar. Would love to connect since I’m thinking about joining the group! Hope to chat soon!

To call the current environment “challenging” would be an understatement. But I thought we could both benefit from being in each other’s networks. Don’t worry… There’s no pitch coming. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you have questions. Reach out anytime.

Hello! I saw you are presenting at HRWest in a few weeks too, we have some synergies around productivity and leadership and I would love to connect! Cheers,

Hi Judy, Thanks for checking my profile, after looking at yours it seems like we should be connect. Let’s fix that… Have a great week!

Hi Judy, I can’t wait for your presentation to BACN next month after viewing your website. The way you describe what a client will get for their investment through video is brilliant! I’m not quite ready for your help, but I would love to follow you here on LinkedIn. Best,

How I Use LinkedIn to Build My Business

LinkedIn is a fabulous tool. It is the only social media platform I use. It has helped me get on podcasts, secure speaking gigs, meet my heroes, establish my expertise, and connect with faraway business friends. It is a sharp tool that I use for specific aims, like a fine chisel to sculpt marble. It is not a blunt shotgun to “spray and pray.” It’s a tool I use for 2 purposes:

  1. Network: strategically connect and build a solid network by focusing on quality not  quantity.
  2. Nurture: tend to them with intention, thoughtfulness, and generosity. Make them feel like a VIP.

If you’re going for QUALITY connections and not just a numbers game, use these tips:

  1. Make it personal. Do some homework first by checking out the person’s profile.
  2. Make it real. Please avoid automation. See #3 below.
  3. Make it relevant. Give a specific reason to connect.
  4. Make the person feel like a VIP. Be helpful first. Compliment them on a recent achievement. Tell them specifically WHY you should connect.

Does Your LinkedIn Profile Need a Makeover?

Angela Dunz is the introvert’s guide to LinkedIn. She’s my go-to expert on everything LinkedIn. Check out her classes and events. I’ve taken her 10-day challenge and it was super helpful for getting my profile spic and span. She’ll help you create an authentic personal brand, expand your visibility, and use REAL genuine connections to build your network.